Time for some more 2nd edition Blood Bowl

South East Albion Invitational Cup

The first match

Blood Bowl definitely seems to have got under my skin: the joy of painting these amazing figures from my youth, the hunt for lost treasures on eBay, and ultimately the pleasure of playing with these wonderful and sometimes wacky rules. I know that for many people the editions after this one have better rules. They are probably right, but I’ve never been drawn to the later editions, as they just don’t seem to capture the essence of Blood Bowl for me. I have similar feelings about Rogue Trader and the later editions of 40K. I’m sure that says more about me than about the consensus, though. I also like a wargame with a good table or two, and Blood Bowl certainly has a few.

After my last game, in which I used only the core rules, I decided I needed a bit more from my matches. This was easily remedied by bringing in most of the rules from the Companion and Star Player books. The only rules I didn’t use were referees, fouls, magical items, magic, and secret weapons. Most of these require one or two referee figures on the table, and I haven’t yet finished repainting my old human referee. Once he’s done, he’ll definitely be making an appearance on the astrogranite. I’ll probably go on a hunt for the dwarf referee as well, so I can field a proper tandem of officials.

Every good game of Blood Bowl needs some sort of tournament to help build the narrative and add interest. I would be remiss if I didn’t try to put my own spin on this venerable game. The first season of the tournament will be very modest: I’ve only painted four teams — two lawful and two chaotic — and as I paint more, the tournament will grow organically. I don’t want it to get too big, as I’m only one person and it would become a bit unmanageable for me to play and write up a large number of games.

The South East Albion Invitational Cup, as I’ve named my tournament, will be divided into the lawful division and the chaotic division. The teams in each division will play each other once, and the winners will go on to a final match of Law vs Chaos to determine the champion. So, in this first “season”, there will only be three matches — a very simple set-up, but one that allows me to field all of my teams.

The first game of the tournament will see my dwarven team, the Barak Varr Buccaneers, take on my human team, the Framsburg Firelocks, in a 90-minute, two-ball match.

Match Report-From Cantwara Entertainment

Welcome once again, sports fans! James Vambraces here, coming to you live from the Alkham Valley, and we are raring to go for the opening clash of the South East Albion Invitational Cup! Now, word filters down from the stands that the tournament sponsors — the fine folk at Turner’s Toy Emporium — are a touch disappointed by the low number of teams throwing their hats into the ring this season.

But honestly? I doubt the average fan gives a jot about that. As long as there’s mayhem on the pitch and bodies flying left, right, and centre, the crowd will be happy enough.

And to guarantee plenty of that, the organisers have decided to shake things up today by rolling out the notorious two-ball rules! That’s right — each team gets a ball from the kick-off, and what they choose to do with it… well, that’s where the fun begins. Chaos, confusion, cunning play — it’s all on the cards, ladies and gents, and we’re moments away from finding out who handles the madness better! 

But listen to that, folks — there’s a real uneasy murmur rolling around the stadium. Word has it that the Firelocks’ coach has made the bold — some might say baffling — decision to leave Clarence “Groin Stabber” Whitfield out of the starting line-up today. Now, from a tactical standpoint, you can sort of see the logic: the poor little chap would be absolutely flattened by the Buccaneers’ front line.

But I’ll admit it — and judging by the grumbles in the stands, I’m not alone — we were all hoping to see the halfling menace out there, helmet spike and all. The lad’s a true maestro of the dirty tackle, a pint-sized whirlwind of questionable legality, and the crowd absolutely loves him for it.

The pace of this game is absolutely relentless — I’m having to push myself just to keep up! Moments like these make me wish my old co-host, Johann Sinjin, were here; the man could really call a match. I warned him not to wander off to Runsinane Castle, of course, but you know Johann — stubborn as ever.

Back on the pitch, the Buccaneers look a little lost when it comes to handling the Firelocks’ receivers and blitzers as they fan out wide. Leave too many men behind, and they’ll struggle to make any headway.

Markus Königsland spots Niklas Balken and Ruprecht “Ace” Windschatten tearing down the flank and fires a crisp short pass to the star receiver. And let me tell you, folks — Balken can keep pace with a Skaven any day of the week. This could get very interesting, very quickly! 

The Buccaneers are certainly getting the upper hand in the melee at the centre of the pitch, but wait — look at Balken go! With sheer speed and nimble footwork, he threads his way through the defence like a needle through cloth and bang — touchdown before anyone even has a chance to lay a hand on him! What a brilliant display of agility from the Firelocks’ star receiver.

As the teams line up again after that lightning-fast touchdown, the Buccaneers’ coach looks ready to tear his beard out in sheer rage! Fans seated nearest his dugout are getting sprayed with spittle as he unleashes a furious tirade on his players.

But it seems his rage-filled encouragement has sparked something in the team. They’re taking the fight to the Firelocks with renewed vigour, bottling them up in the middle — and BOOM! Look at that hit from Durgin Ironspike on Balken! Some of Balken’s teeth are embedded in the astrogranite, folks. And honestly, it’s a joy to see a fellow thrower laying the smackdown on a slippery receiver like that.

The Buccaneers are really struggling to gain any ground in midfield during this series! Dmitri “The Rock” Johannes is absolutely dominating — single-handedly stopping the dwarven advance. This mountain of a man has already flattened three blockers, and the rest of the Buccaneers are now wisely giving him a wide berth. What a colossal presence on the pitch!

The Firelocks have broken through the buccaneers lines again.  This time the pass came from Dunchad Leeseite to Steffen “The Ninja” Schnitzen.  The Ninja has blockers running with him, I don`t see how the Buccaneers can stop him from scoring.

What an absolute disaster for the Buccaneers! Kristof Königsland scoops up Durgin Ironspike and slams him into the astrogranite before he even has a chance to break through with the ball. The Firelocks’ blocker is now stumbling around desperately trying to pick it up, but the ball seems to have a mind of its own — bouncing just out of Königsland’s reach! Unbelievable chaos out there on the pitch, folks!

The roar of the Firelocks supporters is absolutely deafening as Schnitzen barrels into the endzone! Tonight is a night to remember for the lad — he rarely gets a chance to handle the ball when Niklas Balken is on the pitch, and you can see just how much it means to him as he unleashes one of the most energetic endzone celebrations ever witnessed on a Blood Bowl pitch. Schnitzen’s training in the Far East has clearly given him a level of flexibility and flair that’s unprecedented here in Albion — or anywhere else in the Old World!

The Firelocks have done an excellent job of keeping Thorgrim “Flash” Killack under wraps for much of the match, but a player of his calibre simply cannot be denied for the full 90 minutes! A perfectly timed pair of blocks, finally opened a gap — and Flash didn’t waste a second. He tore down the sideline like a whirlwind, legs pumping as fast as they could carry him. This could be the moment that turns the game!

Meanwhile, on the opposite side of the pitch, the other ball has somehow ended up in the hands of Jan Anton… or is it Colle Anton? The poor lineman looks utterly confused, completely unsure what to do with it — but wait! A swift slap around the head from Dmitri “The Rock” Johannes sends him hurtling down the field, charging straight for the correct endzone. Chaos, confusion, and brilliance all in one play, entertainment at its best!

The Buccaneers’ fans are absolutely screaming for Killack as he slips past the ogre blitzer, Old Tom! His face is bright red, and you can practically hear the sound of his laboured breathing from the touchlines. Every ounce of effort, every sprint, every desperate push — and yet, heartbreakingly, it’s all for nothing. The final whistle blows before he can reach the endzone. What a cruel, cruel twist at the death of the match!

And there it is, folks! The Framsburg Firelocks have taken the match 2-0 and will be advancing to the final of the South East Albion Invitational Cup! What a performance from the lads, combining skill, speed, and just a touch of chaos to see off the Buccaneers.

Stay tuned on your crystal balls, sports fans — we’ll be bringing you scores and highlights from around the Blood Bowl world right after a short commercial break from our sponsors, Turner’s Toy Emporium, purveyors of toys for all ages. Don’t go anywhere!