A new month and time for more Blood Bowl, of the 2nd Edition variety.

South East Albion Invitational Cup

The second match

I had hoped that November would allow me not only to finish painting my fifth team, but also to complete the small tournament I am running by and for myself. Sadly, life, work, illness, and an overly complicated paint job got in the way. Who would have thought that painting white and yellow would take so long? There is definitely a lesson for me to learn there.

Still, I have made some progress on the fifth Blood Bowl team, and the winter break is coming up, so I should be able to finish this team before the New Year. I have made some purchases—perhaps a little impulsively—to fill out a few more teams that I would like to add to the project. In total, I have about two hundred figures to paint for the twelve teams I have currently set as my goal. Not a lot of figures by big-game standards, but a daunting total for someone with the attention span of a goldfish. Fingers crossed I will actually get round to finishing them all in 2026.

That is probably enough preamble. The second game of the tournament, the Chaos Leg, will see my Skaven team, the Kingsbury Critters, take on my Dark Elf team, the Morien Storm Warriors, in a 90-minute, two-ball match.

Match Report-From Cantwara Entertainment

Good afternoon, sports fans! James Vambraces here, coming to you live on this dark and overcast day. This dreary weather won’t dampen the ardour many fans have for the second game of the South East Albion Invitational Cup! A game that some feared would be cancelled after being delayed for over a month due to technicalities raised by the Storm Warriors’ coach.

It seems the wily Bhraen Klo’gh managed to push the fixture back until the weather improved by claiming that his team was not a Dark Elf side at all, but rather a Sea Elf team—and that, as such, it shouldn’t be facing a Chaotic opponent. A claim the tournament organisers should have dismissed at a glance, simply by looking at the Storm Warriors’ two star player linemen… linewomen… linedaemons—Heartvex and Lustspite.

James Vambraces:

Good afternoon, sports fans. Twenty-five thousand Storm Warriors fans packed into Turner’s Toy Emporium Stadium, and they are in fine voice this afternoon. The ratmen are struggling to make themselves heard already.

Officials are making their way onto the pitch now — and one of them is approaching Exarian with the ball. You can see the hesitation there.

Before we get under way, a quick word for viewers joining us this season. I’m joined once again by Johann Sinjin — my former co-host, who vanished at the end of last season, was later confirmed dead at Runsinane Castle, and has now, somehow, returned to the commentary box.

Johann Sinjin:

Aye. Vanished, died, came back. Runsinane did a number on me, James, but it turns out undeath agrees wi’ the voice.

James:

It is… good to have you back, Johann. Even if the circumstances are unusual.

Now then, looking at this setup, surely the Storm Warriors will want to start cleanly here.

Johann:

Cleanly? James, I wis killed at Runsinane Castle for expectin’ folk tae play clean. Lost ma heid, ma spine, an’ most o’ ma patience in the process.

James:

Yes, well. Your return has been well documented.

Johann:

Aye, documented. Dragged back frae the grave an’ shoved in a commentary box. But Blood Bowl rules huvnae changed since I died. If Exarian disnae try somethin’ unsportin’ here, I’ll haunt the officials again just tae remind them how it’s done.

James:

Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. The official finally hands over the ball…

Johann:

Hope’s a fine thing, James. Didnae save me at Runsinane.

James:

And now the second official`s scrambling across the astro-granite towards the Critters’ end — and he does not look comfortable.

Hands shaking as he practically throws the ball at Roland “The Rat” Superstar. Roland’s staring at it… and I’m honestly not sure whether he’s deciding to accept the ball or eat the official.

Johann:

Aye, that’s no indecision, James. That’s instinct. Seen the same look right before I died.

James:

And there he goes — the referee turning tail and sprinting for the sideline!

Johann:

Too late—

James:

—no, he’s made it! Just over the line, that is the sideline!

Johann:

Barely. Another step and we’d be addin’ his name tae the casualty list.

James:

Jim “Bully” Bowen pulls up at the boundary, bellowing after him — and the official is not looking back. That’s about as close as you’ll ever see to a clean hand-off in a Blood Bowl fixture.

Johann:

A poor chase, that. If Bowen’d committed tae it, the ref would be a smear on the astro-granite by now. Pullin’ up at the sideline shows restraint — an’ I dinnae trust it.

James:

Perhaps a wise decision this early on.

Johann:

Wise? Maybe. Disappointin’? Absolutely. Blood Bowl’s no about wisdom, James — it’s about makin’ a statement.

James Vambraces:

The Storm Warriors are concentrating their attack down the right sideline here. That looks very much like Bhraen Klo’gh is sticking to his usual approach.

Simple, solid ground game. No complications. Win the numbers, gain local superiority, and overwhelm the opposition.

Johann Sinjin:

Aye. It’s dull, it’s brutal, an’ it works.

James:

Gloreir and Heartvex are moving up now — looks like they’re going to clear the way for Exarian. 

James Vambraces:

The Critters won’t be so easily dominated. Their star player — and would-be kicker — Skrot Ball is already on the move, dodging his way through the Dark Elf defence.

Speed and agility like that are rare commodities.

Johann Sinjin:

Aye, an’ they’re the only reason he’s still standin’.

James:

He goes in for the block on Exarian — and that’s brave… maybe too brave. Both players down on the astro-granite.

Johann:

That’ll need work. Dodgin’s an art. Blockin’ gets ye killed.

James Vambraces:
Over on the far sideline now — Roland’s lining up a shot at the end zone. He’s got space, but it’s closing fast.
Laithikir and Lustspite are bearing down on him — and they’re not hanging back.

Johann Sinjin:
Aye, that pocket’s collapsin’. He’s no got time.

James:
Roland’s eyes are everywhere, looking for an open receiver. He cocks the arm — he wants this out now—
Oh no! The ball slips! It’s on the turf!

Johann:
That’s panic, James. Ye can smell it.

James:
A fumble when he was so close to scoring. You can see the frustration there.

Johann:
Fast lad, plenty talent — but throwers crumble when ye get in their face. Dark Elves love that. They don’t chase the ball; they chase you.

James:
And that pressure has forced a costly mistake here for the Critters.

James Vambraces:
And it’s a bloody scramble for the ball now — bodies everywhere!
Lustspite comes up with it — but she can’t secure it for long!

Johann Sinjin:

She’s no safe there, James.

James:

Morlocke Angrod is all over her — the Critters’ four-armed mutant getting stuck in immediately.

Johann:

Those wanderin’ paws are a nightmare. Too many hands, no shame.

James:
Even a Daemonette of Slaanesh can’t keep hold of it under that kind of pressure! Morlocke and Roland are wrestling her down to the astro-granite —
And the ball’s loose again! It’s back in play!

Johann:

That’s Blood Bowl for ye. Nobody owns the ball — they’re just borrowin’ it.

James Vambraces:

The Storm Warriors have managed to regain control of the ball, and they’re moving it down the pitch once more.

Gloreir has it now — the blitzer carrying — and Mortharor is right there as his bodyguard.

Johann Sinjin:

That’s a hard escort tae get through, James.

James:

The Critters are scrambling to respond — can they get anyone across in time to stop Gloreir from scoring? 

James Vambraces:

Not if Heartvex has anything to say about it.

The Daemonette is fending off three Skaven — claws clacking loudly in the air — and you can see the hesitation there.

Johann Sinjin:

Aye, no wonder they don’t want tae get any closer. I wouldnae either.

James:

The question now is whether they can break through at all and put an end to this Dark Elf drive.

James Vambraces:

It looks like Roland “The Rat” is going to try his hand at another pass here — but he’s far too focused on what’s in front of him.

Pump fake once… twice — and as he cocks the arm again, Laithikir reaches in and snatches the ball clean out of his hand!

Johann Sinjin:

That’s dreadful.

James:

Another turnover from the Critters’ star player. This has been a terrible outing for Roland so far.

Johann:

Pressure’ll do that. Lustspite’s been in his head since the first drive.

James:

You wonder if he needs a cold shower — or maybe just a long walk away from the pitch. That Daemonette has well and truly got under his skin.

James Vambraces:

The action is really heating up in the middle of the pitch now. Dark Elf blitzers edging closer to the end zone — but the Skaven are swarming after them.

Pardek, one of the Storm Warriors’ catchers, is sprinting up in support — trying to give his teammates an option—

Oh no, he’s stumbled! Something’s caught him on the astro-granite — a loose section of the pitch!

Johann Sinjin:

That’s bad.

James:

He’s down hard — and you could hear that crack around the stadium. Pardek isn’t moving… and his neck is at a very unnatural angle.

Johann:

Aye. That’ll be that.

James:

Yes… it looks like we have our first fatality of the match — and listen to that crowd. They absolutely love it. 

James Vambraces:

And while the spectators are still savouring the first Blood Bowl death of the day, they’ve missed a superb piece of play in midfield.

Ratmek Shake — the plucky Skaven lineman — throwing his entire body into a diving tackle!

Johann Sinjin:

That’s pure desperation.

James:

He clips the legs, brings him down — a last-ditch effort to stop the Storm Warriors from scoring, and it might just have worked.

Johann Sinjin:

Aye. No skill, no finesse — just sacrifice. That’s how ye stay alive an extra turn.

James Vambraces:

But that desperate effort looks to be in vain — Laithikir steps in and shows the Skaven thrower exactly how to throw the deep ball.

He lets it fly — the pigskin soaring high downfield!

Johann Sinjin:

That’s a beauty.

James:

Tholre’kai underneath it — the lineman showing rare hands — plucks it cleanly in stride!

He’s away! No one’s catching him now!

Johann Sinjin:

That’s game.

James:

Into the end zone he goes — touchdown! The whistle blows, and that is the first — and only — score of the match!

James Vambraces:

What a game! The Storm Warriors march on to the final, where they’ll face the Framsburg Firelocks to decide who will be crowned the first South East Albion Invitational Cup champions.

Johann Sinjin:

Aye, an’ if the Firelocks play half as rough as these lot, we’ll need three necromancers an’ a shovel before kickoff.

James:

Stay tuned to your crystal balls, sports fans — we’ll be back shortly with scores and highlights from across the Blood Bowl world—

Johann:

—assuming the highlights arena’s still standin’ by then. I’ve seen less carnage at Runsinane Castle… an’ I wis there when it fell.

James:

Right after a brief word from our sponsors, Turner’s Toy Emporium: purveyors of toys for all ages.

Johann:

Aye. Get the wee ones somethin’ soft an’ cuddly — before they grow up watchin’ this an’ thinkin’ broken necks are a spectator sport.

James:

Don’t go anywhere!